Part of the song liric's to my all time favret song.

I was walking home from school on a cold wenterts day I took a short cut through the woods ,and lost my way it was getting late I was scard ,and alone but then a kind old man took my hand ,and led me home oh momma couldent see him oh ,but he was standing there I knew in my heart he was the anwser to my prare 's
Oh I belilve there are angels amoge us sent down to us from somewhere up above they come to you ,and me in our darkist hour's to show us how live teach us how to give to gide us with the light of love.

this is my oldist ,but most favret song ever because I do belilve that there are angels that walk right here on earth beside us at all time's throughout our live's.

its' a brand new one for ya'll. I'm nervas

NEVER STOP BELIEVING IN THING'S.
Never stop believing in life.
Never stop believing in love
Never stop believing in trust
Never stop believing in truth
Never stop believing in freedumb
Never stop believing in fath
Never stop believing in houosty
Never stop believing in family
Never stop believing in friend's
Never stop believing in the one that you love most
Never stop believing in yourself
Never stop believing in God
If we all stoped believing in this thing's where would we be?
The two most Imporotont thing's to always believ in are god ,and yourself
Believ in god for if it was not' for him you would not' be able to belilve in youself or anything elase on this list ? if we did stop beliving in these thing's we would not' have a reason to live anymore I belive in all these thing's very much so .
I belive in thing's that I can and can not' see but manly I belilve in god for giving me all other thing's in this life that I have ,and for life its' self I thnk him ,and only him for always being here by my side the way that he has been throughout my whole life.

I wrote this one when I was in New Yark City setting by the rall road trak's I hope that ya'll like it ,and that it don't bore you to much.

"I AM WHO I AM "

I am who I am ,and I know that latly I have not' been my self ,but I'm starting to get back the old me . I am ready to start doing all the thing's that I love most in this world ,riding my horses,writing,singing ,dancing ,and what ever elase that I want to do because, I have just now remembered that I had forgot about my self ,and the thing's that I love for to long. now its' time for me to be me again ,and that's what I'm going to do because I know who I am ,and from now on if people don't like that then they don't have to stick around because I'm not' going to change the real me I am happy just the way that I am ,and thats' being the kind hearted loving careing person that I am ,and will alway's be for as long as I live . Have a blasting great weekend everyone I'm going deer hunting for the rest of the week I need that ya I ant done that in a very long time now ,and its' time that the old me come's back out.
Have a great day.

"The Part of me That Liy's Beneth"

The Real me is a some what kind sweet harted person that will halp just about anyone that is in need. I would gladly give someone the shert off my own back even if that ment me frzzing to death. I would give my own life to save the life of a child or a person that I love. I am that person that is driving down the road ,and see's a car rack ,and stops to help the people that are in side of that car still.
When people ask me what kind of person that I am I mostly tell them that I'm very cold hearted ,but that really ant true In fact I'm right the oppsit I guess I don't like seeing people get hurt ,and I don't like hurting other people's feeling's eather . well that's all I'm posting about that
I can't belelve that I posted this well maybe you all want' make to much fun of me for this one.

Rolling "

Rolling down the road we are alway's rolling we never stop ,and never once get to rest when we are rolling down the long dark road in the truck.

Rolling once we start we don't stop from sun up tile sun down we go ,and go alway's saying go faster go faster I can't stand sitting still we must keep on rolling so that I don't loes my mind. As I keep on rolling donw the road I can't help but look at all the thing's in this world that I'm missing by just rolling by them ,and never once stoping to see the real beauty that liy's inside . Maybe one day I can stop running ,and rolling down all these dark long ,and cold road's?

Running Horse'

Thanksgiving from hell""

I spent my thanksgiving stranded out in oklahoma on the truck because my boyfriend's boss is the ass whole from hell. I cryed all day that day because, my grandmother was crying because I was not' here for thanksgiving with them. I feel so lost right now ,and not' really sure what to do with myself ??? Right now I just want to crall up in a cold dark whole ,and stay there for the rest of the year.
I'm sorry yall I 'm just not' my self right now ,but I'm going to post some new poetry now so maybe I will feel better about myself.???

I'm going away for a while .

Hey Guy's sorry that i have not' been here for a while ,but I am going out on the truck with my boyfriend I needed a big breack. So I will be back in about two week's or so ? Thank you all for the kind word's it really mean's the world to me that you all care so much. And when i get back i will be posting lot's ,and lot's of new poetry for you to read. And Red dirt girl there is a side of me that not' many people don't know about. I will post something about that later on just to give ya'll a smile sneek pek into my soule???? well got to go have a great two week's everyone see you all when I get back.

Hope

Here is something's that I know ya'll don't know about me.

After stopping by over at barngoddess site I thought that I would post something's about me that you don't know.

1 I have not' one ,but four name's altogether with my two middle names.

2.I am the baby of five children.

3. my mother ,and grandmother raised me alone with no help.

4.I love whereing the clolor black all the time.

5.I love the clolor red more then any other.

6. I hate the cololr pink with a passion.

7.I don't like being around people that are dead ,and will not' go to a fenral home at all because they tottaly freack me out.

8. I atedded theatre class in college ,and passed that class an a+

9. I was once a drag raser ,but I quit because I seen someone that I was very close to die one night ,but I will post about that later .

10. I like to watch Genarl Hospital every day that I have time.

11. I gragewited in the top 3 of my class in head start .

12. I got over an 700 on my ged test.

13. It took me 18 munth's to get my ged ,and that was with going all the way back to headstart ....

14. Some people call me joey .

15.I have never been in jall before ,but there was something's that I did when I was younger that if I had been cought I would be in preson right now ,but I'm not' that person anymore.

16. I sleep with a white teddy bear at night when I'm stick .

17. I was once in a gang at one pont in my life.

18.I am good at singing ,and acting I love both .

19. I love looking at black roeses even though they freak my family out.

20. I still watch the movie bambe ,and the sound of music.

21. I have Ocd

22. I love standing outside in the middle of a lighting storm .

23. I am a child magnet ,but still to this day don't know why??

24. I come from a family that has more then 500 member's in it that are still living today.

25.I like to go hunting with my nife.

26.I can name every cher song ,and every movie that she was in.

27. I can qutie every line from every movie that I have ever watched in my life.

28. My father's name was sid ,and I have a cousen named Fuzzey .

29.I have never tried drug's in my life.

30. I love gun's any ,and every kind.

31.I like to colact rock's ,and nifghfe's

32. I have killed 4 deer in the last 3 year's .

33. I love to well never mind.

alright that is all that I can post about me because the rest of my life ,and the thing's in it is way to long ,and personal so I hope that I don't bore ya'll to much with this well I'm off to post some more poetry now.

it's another post about my family tree.

Ya'll may not' know this about me so I thought that I would share with you some of my most favret memoris about growing up here in arkansas.

I can remember back when I was about that is when I got my very first nic name ,and that was Eag 2 that is what my Uncal called me ,and now he called "I Will" but I don't know why??

On my 14th birth day I can still remember that day like it was yesterday because that is the day that I got my first horse his name is ben ,and I still have him to this day .

One day about 3 years ago I desided to take off on my horse ,and go for a long ride to clear my head ,and when I did I was gone for two whole day's ,and the funny part is that I don't even remember where I went I think that I was just trying to get as far away as Fast as I could.

On this very day 2year's ago I met my nece Danell for the very frist time ,and when she met me ever sense that day she has alway's been telling me that I am her most favret aunt.

At this time last year was really the first time that I really got to know my oldist sister untile that day I had only seen my sister about 10 time's in 18 years of my life,and that is one day that I will forever charish for as long as I live.

My frist Chismouss was last year ,and yes I know that sound's kinda funny ,but my family don't belilve in it ,but last year I started belilveing I was at my sister's house when I had my first one ,and there is just something about watching the family decorat the tree it just does something to a person.

well I think that I have said to much already ,but I couldnot' think of anything elasc to post.

Why Must I feel so much "

As I go throughout this life I can't help ,but wonder why I must feel so much that goes on around me.

Why must I alway's love so truley ,and pruely
Why must I been the one that care's so much about other's feeling's ,and not' my own?
Why must I alway's feel that I'm alway's talking to my self?
Why must I alway's fall in love with the wrong guy's ?
Why must I alway's feel pain ,and not' only my own but other's pain as well.
Why must I alway's be the one to see thing's before they happen?
Why must I be forced to see only good thing's in my life ,and not' the bad?
Why must I alway's Try ,and help the poeple that I love ,and put them first before my self?
Why must I set here at night ,and cry ?
Why must my horse be ill?
Why must my truck always breack down on me ?
Why must I be here in this place that I can no longer stand?
Why must the people that I love alway's hurt me so badly?
Why must I even blog about this ?

I don't know where or why I posted this I guess I just needed to vet for a while? I am sorry about that ,but sometime's writing is the only way for me ecspase my self ,and feel better when I am not' sure why I'm feeling like this. Ok now I'm going to stop bitching about my life ,and try to post of poetry.

I don't really know what to post about today?

I am just not' thinking right today or something I have been out all week loading ,and holing hay yesterday I hand loaded about 300 bale's or so ,and when I got back home I was so tired ,and ready to go straght to bed. I know that I have not' been posting latly as much I uesto ,but I have not' been sleeping at night ,and I don't know why?? Today I feel like my who life is trying to fall apart on me ,and it feel's that there is nothing that I can do to stop it. I am madly in love with someone ,and we have been talking about the big M word ,but I'm still waiting on him to ask me ,but it is so hard right now because I'm begining to wonder if I am ever going to get a ring fromt that man? Its' like this ok I know that he is the one that I want to spend the rest of life with. But he tell's me the same thing all the time ,but that's all he has done is just talk ,and everytime that I ask him if he is sure that he want's to be with me he never awser's my qustion who is ? Does anyone ever really understand men anyway???? I know that I sure don't I think maybe that I should just tell him that untile he can make up his mind that we should be apart for a while what do you think???? I know that I'm sick ,and tired of waiting on something that may never come around.

Here is my philahophiy on life"

Take each day as it come's to you
Alway's remembering to enjoy the time's that you spend with the one's that you love most.
Try not' to let little thing's like fighting come beween you ,and your family for when everything is said ,and done they are still going to be your family ,and the one's that love you most.
Try to just enjoy life its' self ,and not' what it has put you through ,Try to alway's leans a loving hand to thoues who need you most ,and let them know that you are alway's going to there for them when they need you the most in their life.
I try to not' let a singal day go by with out telling the most importont people in my life that I love them Because I have learnd the very hard way that life is short,and we never really know witch day that come's will be our last.

Here is a pic of me ,my mom,and my sister.
I love this pic because its' one of only two photo's where none of us was fighting with eachother ,and it was taken when I got to go for my first CHER conceart that was so cool.

THE WORLD"

The World""
This world that we live in is the very thing that makes us who we are
with the good ,and the bad thing's that we must sometime's go through the only that we do is embrace it with all are might. And for everything that it places within our path we all somehow find our own way around these opstcil's one way or another at one pont in our live's. Even though we all do this so diffrently ,but yet in so many way's the same. We are given the chouse to take this life that we live ,and see only the bad or we can look at both the good ,and the bad thing's because we have to deal with both of them each ,and every day of our live's. I chouse to see only the good in other people ,but even though sometime's people tell me that I should not' be so kind hearted ,and careing about other's I just look them in the eye ,and say to them What do you want me to do about it I am who I am in this world ,and in the next I will be the same person that I am today because I am who I am ,and noone can ever change that If I could I wouldent because I am heppy being me because I know what I am here for.

What I call a good day filled with nothing ,but fun.

This past saterday I went down to my sister's house for a holloween party that I my nice was throwing ,and I got to finally met my other nice's ,and nehfew's ,and now I know all of my family ,and to me that's really cool because I have found out this past weekend that they all think that I'm the collist aunt in the whole wide world ,and that really make's me feel good. My oldist Nice is 32 then it goes like this 32,28,15,10,9,8,8,and then the youngist one is 7 munth's old now ,and saterday was the first time that I met him ,and he is just so sweet he craled all the way arouss the living room floor to get to me so I just had to hold him even he love's me already ,but the really said part is that I am so afread that if I ever have any children of my own that I would be a bad mother I mean I have never met a kid that didnot' like me so what do you think?? do you think that I would be a bad mom someday??

My love ,and my life"

This is my heart ,my soule ,and every minint of my entire life this is what make's my day so bright ,and happy so full of life ,and loughfter ,and joy this is my love ,and my entirer whole world ,and my life .

this is me "

This is me alway's runing fancy ,and free I have been told by many people that I have the spirit of a wild horse because I am always moving ,and am hardly ever still for more then a minit. My best friend ,and blood sister Idea gave me that name as my Indean name she said that she gave me this name because I have a very free spirit ,and a prue heart ,and that my spirit could never be brocken. So I say this only once THis is my the real me that not' very many people get to see this is me I am the spirit of a wild horse always running fancy ,and free Because I am the free spirit of my land.

here is one of my really spooky story's that happened to me one time.

Back about five years ago I was going hunting with my Sister ,and my cusen ,and my cousen ,and sister had left me behind to go to the other stand ,and it was almost getting dark out side . My cousen was having a really hard time that weekend ,and as I was setting there on the grand by a big red oak tree I heard something moving torwd's me from behind ,and I truned around ,and I seen my anual walking to me ,and he was telling me that he wanted me to keep a cloes eye on my cousen J because he was afread that he was going to do something really very stupid so I said ok I would . Well that night after we got back from hunting J wanted to go over to get some beer ,and I told my mother that I had to go with him my mom said why I told her that I just knew that I had to go with him. And so we went to the liqer store after we got back home that night J got really drunk ,and starting doing some really stupid thing's he went in to my house ,and got the 12gadge shot gun ,and set down in the floor he then put the barl of the gun in his mouth ,and was going to pull the tirger my mom ,and my sister was both trying to take the gun away from him ,but evertime that they would get cloes to him he would put the gun forther in his mouth . I just set there for about five mimnent's or so ,and then I finally went over to him ,and I told him I said your dad would not' want you to be acting like this ,and I think that you know that. He then took the gun out of his mouth ,and haded it to me he was in shock that I dident try to take it away from him ,and that's why he just gave up and gave it to me.
Alright for the really wired part of the story now
my cousen had been fighting with him self for about three years at that time the reason being is that he felt geltey because he did not' go ,and see his father when he was in the hospital ,and he was blaming himself because he was not' being man eunghf to take that seeing his dad in there the way that he was. Ok now for the really spooky part of this story
My Uncal had died just three years to the day before that night ,and yes this is a true story I mean that this really did happen to me ,and to this day J still does not' know why I knew what to tell him that night to make him put the gun down ,and I am not' sure if I will ever tell him , but he told me later on that same year that he had no Iday why I was the only person that would listion to about that night ,and about what he was going to do.

its' going to be another long week out here for me.

Tonight I am going to me very first Hollween party ,and will be gone all night then on sunday I have to go work on some old fice's that need to be fixed.then on wensday I have to go pic up my friend's horse tralier because on next friday I am going to be helping the college put on a hollween show for the kid's. I get to be the headluss horse man , and so I have to take my horses with me this could be really danogerse though because my horses have never been around that many people before in there life. So it could be really interasting for me , and my other rider ?? but I think that it will all go down just fine I know how my horses are , and I think that they will have fun helping me with this show. And besides I need to get out of the house anyway. so everyone wish me luck ok , and I will post on saterday how thing's went at the college alright , and if I don't post anything on saterday then you will know that I got really badly hurt lol.

This exsplanes the name of my blog.

I am one who walk's in the shadow's I will always see you , but you will never see me.
I can walk right up to you ,and talk to you ,but as soon as your not' looking I will dessapir , and you will never see me again. I will see you passing by on the street , but you will never remember my face, and that's why I am called by many people the shadow walker you want ever know that I'm around unless I want you to know . I can come ,and go as I pleas with out anyone ever knowing that I'm nere. I live my whole life as a shadow hovering over this wrold the reason being that I am always watching , and always waiting for something to happen I am always there to help other's when they need me most , and then after I have done my part I leve , and that person will never see me again because I am the shadow walker that walke's amoung us watching over the rest of us.

I will post a story for ya'll later ,and I hope that ya'll don't think I'm a freak or anything , but this is how I see thing's.

"What is Love"

What is love " some say that love is blind some say that love will always remane some say that love is true some say that love is corle . some say that love is a gift from god ,some say that love is a curse some might even say that love make's then want to die. And some people say that they need love to servive .Ether way love is love , and no one know's how or what it is or where it is , but we do all know this love is love.

"Running Horse"