I'm being set free once ,and for all

i know that it has been so long sense my last post ,and that most of you have already taken me off your friends list ,but i am kinda just writing this because i need to let everything out before i lose my mind ,and go insane over the hell that i have been through in the past three weeeks or so ,and i also know that no one really wants to here about it ,but as i said i must write now before its to late ,and i do something that i will end up regrting with my won life.my life in the last two weeks has been nothing ,but pure hell the one person that i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with brock my heart in a way that even i am unable to explane at this poimt ? I am letting him go setting him free from the laif that i once wanted because i have found out that this is just not ' going to work for me i can not' handel being locked up traped or confined thats why i am moving on with my life its not'
because i don't love him anymore i will always love him ,but its easer for me to let him go instade of watching my self being tore down time ,and time again the way that it has been going though out the past year ?I have found someone elas ,but at this point am stille very ify about love because i don't want to be hurt that way again ,and am scared because this man is everuythig that i have ever dreamed about as a life long partner ,but not' really sure how to take all this comming at me at once? I am confuesed right now i had a job at mcdonalds ,but just quit today because the stress that i am undetr riht now is just about to couse me to have a mintal breack down ,and can't handel that i need to fill free ,and i do right now ,but also feel like a LOSSER BECAUSE I HAVE NO job as of today and need another one really soon ,but don't have the heart to tell my mother or grandmother because i don't want them to look at me as a felluer the way that everyone elas looks at me . if i am loosing anyone don't worry about it because right now i don't even know what i'm saying or why at this point right now i am in my whon little world hiding from the rest of the wrold ,and don't really want to come out in to the bright light just want to stay heded forever ,and never come back .



my last words of thought for the week are


life is what you make it to be ,and only you have the power to change what happens in your lifetime. It is only then that we can see the road in witch life has instore for us because, we our selfs as people are blinded by something more then light or darkness we are all at one point in our lives or another blinded by our self's ,and the only thing that can save us when we reach that point in our life is the lord I know i never write much about that at all ,but today i need to say that i thank god each ,and every day for helping me throug this life that without him standing by my side i could not' go on living a nother day.

hopoe laire